Have fun with pests

 

Maybe I am just your good old stink bug - if you put me under the plastic cup one on one with myself, I am pretty sure I'll will lose my shit and probably intoxicate myself to death with my own defense mechanisms.
My body is that plastic cup though. That's how lately I've been feeling.

And yes, to make that picture above, I cut into a Virgin Mary holding a baby Jeezie postcard to put a stink bug in her hands to hold it.
And yes, looking at this beautiful creation of mine now I am sort of jealous of this god damn bug.

Anyway, time for the cute communist propaganda aesthetic of the week award! (yes see I can be consistent with my interests)

"There's no God!" (Gagarin_trollface.jpg)

Have a beautiful Monday night.

tuesday tuesday

 

I felt like putting up this re-worked oldie in crazy saturation (had to work that phone pic quality...). Hope you like this feel.

These days have been crazy for us all... Wishing all my darling friends to stay safe and happy.

just a quick check-in for sanity

Today again I found out myself in the middle of 10 minutes speech, having stopped with the chores I was doing at that moment, just sitting down and very elaborately and intensely explaining myself some completely pointless crap. This kind of behaviour hasn't been around for a while (maybe a year?), but now again I keep finding myself blank for quite long periods of time (for being blank standing in the middle of the room), just talking complete nonsense to myself, making up stuff and generally just I guess pretending someone is listening? 
It's a creepy sensation, to finally realise that no one's been responding this whole time but still you feel like you just closed the door on someone when you stopped this bullshit. What is my brain doing?!

Alright, what saddens me the most is that I noticed I am showing such public speaking skills I can't even dream of in the event of actual presentations. What the hell...

happily ever afterlife

So I wanted to go to the cemetery for the All Souls' Day (night rather), having those recollections of fascination from my first visit when I just moved to Ljubljana, major fascination being namely the sight of fried sausages and hot wine stalls right by the cemetery gates, and of course a sea of pretty red candles all gathered in big flaming spots on the ground, like lava... Stuff like that.
But apparently my inner calendar - and let's admit that, wikipedia also was convincing me it is today, while the world says it was yesterday?
Another revelation is that you cannot stay there later than 19:00, which is another big surprise for me. It's like curfew for the dead, isn't it? Forever treated like a primary schooler, this is truly a nightmare of mine.
Still most probably will go there tonight, although my heart will be heavy about missing the sausages and having to leave before the spooky times roll around... 

Trying to figure out this whole situation made me spend quite some time on the cemetery's website, which is surprisingly (or not?) way more high-tech than the most governmental/municipal/educational institutions' web pages, with "get it on google play" buttons nonchalantly hanging about, a charming reminder of the mundanity of the inevitable. Well I should admit that the cemetery I've got my eye on is of some architectural value and it is this, not the burial side that is being addressed with the google play application (what? no app store?), still it left me quite amused.

Amused by the cemetery homepage, right.
This is roughly how every Monday in my life goes.

Indeed now while we are at it I noticed I have quite a lot of graveyard-related things up in my mind ready to be shared, but something tells me maybe I shouldn't waste them on these silly blog posts but put them to a better use.

Anyway. Cute communist propaganda aesthetic of the week, here you go:

"bound for Mars" matchbox

 

you can skip this one

Well hello there, it's god damn 2015 and I am feeling just great.

No, haven't yet bought my own potato field, but still working on that.
Walking that potato path with baby steps. Potato baby steps.
 
Need to tell you, brothers and sisters - just some 15 minutes ago I was multitasking as we all do, namely washing dishes and reflecting on my presence in this world, well, the usual. I don't know how exactly does that work, but this flowing warm water is really stimulating some of the best existential moments is it not? So I literally get to make major life decisions AND get some dirty dishes done all for one price. Just some handcream afterwards and you're good to go, well reflected on your past wrong and rightdoings, plus smelling like silky peonies! Isn't it just the best deal ever?
(Jeeezie, I missed being relatable!)

Definitely need to wash them on a more regular basis.
But alas, such an irregular girl as I am, just as I was abandoning the lovely bunch of existential dishes, I have also been abandoning this lovely piece of internet.
I really loved this blog, and I still do, the only one of many - probably should be a dozen by this year. I create a new one once I feel the person who started the previous one is gone, and it happened multiple times, over and over again. I can't connect with the language, with the thoughts, emotions, concerns, interests, basically really feeling like a stranger.

But the me that built this blog is the only one I feel I want to reconnect with.

And I feel so god damn good about this. 
Once in many years I feel like a properly consistent personality. There's been no proof of me not being abducted by aliens about 2 times in a year and replaced with a new version who hasn't got any clue what's going on this little planet. That is approximately how detached I am usually feeling. Like, 13 years old emo kid in a suburban Junior High kind of detached. Yup, when I was a young boy. (We all were that man in a robe with a circle black eyeshadow.)

But now it all seems to be gradually coming together, and I finally feel like I am forming something whole. And I smell of peonies, and haven't been abducted by aliens since at least 2013.

Well I know it's some pretty useless information for any of you my dearest friends to read through, so I won't be announcing the glorious comeback, but I still really really wanted to leave a note primarily for myself on how great being a person can be. Being the same lame and confused, but way above that evolving and consistent human.

I didn't expect this evening to end in such a lovely way.
Looking forward to keep sending such letters to my future self, because I am finally starting to feel confidence in her being around for me for a while. 

Love all of you my friends dearly.