Alright, it's been quite a while mainly because I was waiting for some good news to come around. Now I'm writing not because they did, just because I stopped waiting, whatever. Mint tea on Saturday night is good enough at this point.
Now what I intended to say from about a month ago. Briefly, not getting into the matter itself.
It's about Ukraine, but mostly it's about people. Affected, concerned; not affected, yet concerned; not concerned at all - so many different reactions and opinions going around online and offline, in all media possible, between millions of us living in different places.
I have never been in the middle of such conflict. Not like I am in the middle right now, but it's more straightforward than ever. In my lifetime, there was no such point. War has been going on and still does, but somehow always on such distance some superficial feeling of peace still prevailing over my very own tiny piece of this world has always accompanied me.
I know that feeling was not legitimate at any point in this world, but we all need that in order to keep on with our own small tragedies and victories still to have some meaning, just to live, or to try to live.
And now, for the first time in my life, still from a great distance, being in another country, having clearly very remote relation to this all, completely safe and in completely insignificant position, I got to feel the smell of war. And guess what - I don't think I could actually make it mentally if this shit got real. If I was really in the center of it. Too much is too much, and too much for me is so little in fact.
But even someone not so relevant as myself, even around here in my family, in my friends and acquaintances, there's a big change that could be brought by nothing but that war state of mind.
Here, people don't do war. Here, people just talk about it. However, I noticed it to be not just your regular chat about politics, not any other argument you would have on a serious matter. In fact, in so many cases the conversations and their consequences do not resemble arguments at all. It's a battlefield. In some cases, it does get physical; then in some cases, it turns out lethal for a weaker side. There have been already several reports on people being beaten to death in the heat of argument about the events. There, where it happened, there was no war outside the window. It's in the minds of the people, and this is truly a horrifying picture.
In my surrounding, there are no such extreme cases. But there are people who exclude each other from circles of friends because of that. There are people who exclude others from the family member list for having opposite views on the situation. It did happen to me, it did happen to my mother, to my family, who split into two parts, each side not willing to face the other side ever again.
I learned to think twice before asking my friends about their opinion. I am not scared of their brutal reaction or anything like that - I am scared of my own war mentality at this moment, I am scared of my whole essence rejecting them if they happen to be on the opposite side, and my conscience will be able to do nothing with it. Because that's how it works now - you're either with us, or against us. And it shouldn't be like this.
When you talk about war, you are talking sides. You cannot avoid talking sides. And when your opponent appears to be with those your friends calling their enemies, those with whom people close to you are ready to fight at any cost, how do you stay impartial? How do you not imagine your argument to be the battlefield, and your opponent your very own enemy? A threat that you should eliminate before it eliminates you.
Because we feel in danger even when we just talk. Because we are living in fear our whole lives. And so easily, your brother turns into your target, and you shoot what you can shoot.
Our casual relationships are not meant for such harsh test. And fear just changes everything. Let us not make it even worse than it is. Do not get into war even just verbally. Don't drag any other person into it. That's one piece of advice I've learned the hard way.
I don't know and I do not even want to know on which side my friends are.
In peace, there is no need to take sides. And I don't know what to wish anymore. Apart from not a single person to get hurt anymore - something that proves itself impossible this very second in some place I've never heard of. Or in the city where I grew up. Or in the city I will never know about. Such a folly, but there is nothing I wish more than this folly right now.
Please stay safe,
stay strong and let us not lose faith in peace.
Let me know if there is anything I could ever help out with.
Let's take good care about each other. Because we really can do it, and we really need each other.
n
Now what I intended to say from about a month ago. Briefly, not getting into the matter itself.
It's about Ukraine, but mostly it's about people. Affected, concerned; not affected, yet concerned; not concerned at all - so many different reactions and opinions going around online and offline, in all media possible, between millions of us living in different places.
I have never been in the middle of such conflict. Not like I am in the middle right now, but it's more straightforward than ever. In my lifetime, there was no such point. War has been going on and still does, but somehow always on such distance some superficial feeling of peace still prevailing over my very own tiny piece of this world has always accompanied me.
I know that feeling was not legitimate at any point in this world, but we all need that in order to keep on with our own small tragedies and victories still to have some meaning, just to live, or to try to live.
And now, for the first time in my life, still from a great distance, being in another country, having clearly very remote relation to this all, completely safe and in completely insignificant position, I got to feel the smell of war. And guess what - I don't think I could actually make it mentally if this shit got real. If I was really in the center of it. Too much is too much, and too much for me is so little in fact.
But even someone not so relevant as myself, even around here in my family, in my friends and acquaintances, there's a big change that could be brought by nothing but that war state of mind.
Here, people don't do war. Here, people just talk about it. However, I noticed it to be not just your regular chat about politics, not any other argument you would have on a serious matter. In fact, in so many cases the conversations and their consequences do not resemble arguments at all. It's a battlefield. In some cases, it does get physical; then in some cases, it turns out lethal for a weaker side. There have been already several reports on people being beaten to death in the heat of argument about the events. There, where it happened, there was no war outside the window. It's in the minds of the people, and this is truly a horrifying picture.
In my surrounding, there are no such extreme cases. But there are people who exclude each other from circles of friends because of that. There are people who exclude others from the family member list for having opposite views on the situation. It did happen to me, it did happen to my mother, to my family, who split into two parts, each side not willing to face the other side ever again.
I learned to think twice before asking my friends about their opinion. I am not scared of their brutal reaction or anything like that - I am scared of my own war mentality at this moment, I am scared of my whole essence rejecting them if they happen to be on the opposite side, and my conscience will be able to do nothing with it. Because that's how it works now - you're either with us, or against us. And it shouldn't be like this.
When you talk about war, you are talking sides. You cannot avoid talking sides. And when your opponent appears to be with those your friends calling their enemies, those with whom people close to you are ready to fight at any cost, how do you stay impartial? How do you not imagine your argument to be the battlefield, and your opponent your very own enemy? A threat that you should eliminate before it eliminates you.
Because we feel in danger even when we just talk. Because we are living in fear our whole lives. And so easily, your brother turns into your target, and you shoot what you can shoot.
Our casual relationships are not meant for such harsh test. And fear just changes everything. Let us not make it even worse than it is. Do not get into war even just verbally. Don't drag any other person into it. That's one piece of advice I've learned the hard way.
I don't know and I do not even want to know on which side my friends are.
In peace, there is no need to take sides. And I don't know what to wish anymore. Apart from not a single person to get hurt anymore - something that proves itself impossible this very second in some place I've never heard of. Or in the city where I grew up. Or in the city I will never know about. Such a folly, but there is nothing I wish more than this folly right now.
Please stay safe,
stay strong and let us not lose faith in peace.
Let me know if there is anything I could ever help out with.
Let's take good care about each other. Because we really can do it, and we really need each other.
n
